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Another Presentation

Just finished another presentation ( or Crit whatever it's called).
I was despair, I never overcome this language barrier.
After 5 years of staying and put myself in various challenges, I'm still not functioning properly.

Main matter, I've realized today, is lack of speaking practice.
Speaking is really a habitual process. Quicker reaction is better, once you make a mistake, need to rephrase asap. Yet, for me, it is really hard to get used to.
After one mistake, I feel less confident, then the second comes along, It became panic mode.
Despite remaining calm outside, my head becomes a jumble land and can't think about any solution about this. so I end up with fragmented sentence without any further explanation. just stop there.
Communication failed.
That is really frustrating moment and the failure feeling drag me into less and less confident situation.

Ah......I'm in total agony of chasing something that I'll never be able to get.

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